Isn’t it funny how Halloween is supposed to be so scary and dark and evil with ghosts and witches and whatnot…. when you are one of those scary witches LOL Halloween’s just beautiful! A time when I can connect with the Ancestors and the Mighty Dead and just feel really centered and grateful and find Beauty in this crazy, occasionally fucked up world.
This Samhain was a little weird for me. It was hard because of losing my friend Brett and it was hard because I’ve been going so pedal to the metal… so I just took a night and went to Joshua Tree. The picture above is the purple Veil that just blessed and saved me, but I really thought a lot about fear (mostly because I didn’t bring my Kindle and had nothing else to do LOL)
I wrote down what I’m afraid of and what I’m not afraid of, and what I’m afraid of that’s good that I’m afraid of it and what I’m afraid about is bad that I’m afraid of it! I didn’t realize I was this much of a scaredy cat LOL but maybe that’s okay! The world can be a scary place. I brought things to natural conclusions through journaling. Like fear of success, fear of failure, fear of fame, fear of monotony, fear of not completing ,something fear of completing it and then not it not being good etc etc I really just got in touch with all of those feelings and then shared them with the Desert, and the purple Veil, and the Fire and the Rocks and the Wind and the Coyotes. It was really really helpful. It’s not that I’m never going to be ever afraid again, but, you know, it’s a scary world and being an artist is sometimes really scary! Being faced with fears and experiences that most people don’t write about, but apparently, I do!
I’m glad I went. I’m glad I thought and meditated on fears. This new project Stories from the Cauldron is really really personal and it’s important that I recognize that it could make me afraid or vulnerable to share all of these things (and I’m spending a lot of money on it I just bought a whole new monitor and speaker Etc) so I’m like I guess I’m doing it. I’m going to make it happen! So thank you Ancestors, thank you Departed, for giving me the strength to be me and move forward!
Happy Samhain Everyone
